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Last evenings poker started well, when I took down a $16, 18 seater SNG on Pokerstars. I played another, $6, this time with Juice, who got very unlucky to run his AQ into tens. I came second there, and it all started to go very horrible for a bit – I played another $16 and I crashed out when a blatant stealer ran his 83 into my Q9 sooted – I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that he hit his 8 on the flop – I opened another and went out in the first hand when I reraised all in a fishy early position raiser with KK – he had QJ (why do I ever bother with Kings, eh?) and board came JXXQQ. I couldn’t stop myself pointing out that I didn’t think, ahem, that it was a terribly wise call. And you know what he said? He said it was MY FAULT for pushing all in. Why do people play such shitty hands with such.. vigour? Why do they offer such ridiculous reasoning for their suckouts? Anyway, I am sorry to say this put me on a little bit of a tilt. What else could I do but join a $50 nl cash table (by the way, I am not really rolled for that risk at Pokerstars – just to put in context how awful my decision making was at the point) and I was doing well.. until my flopped 2 pr of AT fell to 9T’s rivered full house. I have to confess, morale was not at a great high at that point. Its about 2am. Time to go to bed, no?
No!
I’m feeling pretty hacked off at this point. There is something about tilt for me, however, that means whatever else, I do not want to stop playing until the pain is much much worse usually. I wanted to play poker – wanted to push a few chips around but I was at least self aware enough to know that I ought to do it cheaply. So I joined a $4 180 seater – and 4 hours , a straight flush, an unbelievable run of high pocket pairs and flopped sets later, reader, I am happy to tell you I won it. And now its 7.30 am and, God, I have a hyperactive child running around.
He has learnt a new trick. When I ask why he has carried out a particular act of naughtiness he turns down his mouth, looks up at me through beautiful eyes and says.. ‘Because..Because, Mummy, I wanted a cuddle’. And then I am a marshmallow.
Who’s for a long game of Sleeping Lions?

Well, Christmas went well. It was lovely. Family, friends, present and food were all.. great. Maybe this is a bad thing to say – but fuck me, I’m glad its all over now. Am I the only one that feels this way? Shurely not. Given how lucky am I, I think I ought to be more grateful at Christmas time so despite my rather melancholic state of mind – this will not be a ‘bah humbug’ post!

Despite having the most laughable run of form for a few hours yesterday (really, you name it: AAvA5, KKvAQ, KKvA8, AQvA5, QQv99 AKvKJ …on and on) its actually not been a bad few days at the tables. No big scores, but good poker. I played in a $10 Knockout tourney on Full Tilt with Acornman last night and scored 18/567. I can’t get over how fishy these tourneys are sometimes. Might have done even better if my run into Ak with Aj hadn’t depleted my stack to such a degree I had to push with the mighty K4o. Might have done even better if my K4 hadn’t been called by J5 who of course hit her 5 on the river. I haven’t been on the best of runs recently so even though I never profited much (might have won $30 for three odd hours work), it was some comfort to me to play well and go so deep.
I’ve also been playing a lot of turbo sngs lately. They’ve not been a game I feel traditionally very comfortable with but I think that might have been to a degree because I did not understand the true nature of the beast. I think that essentially, if you can bear not to play poker and just run as a push or fold machine, you can make profit at these games (should the cards fall your way, of course). I’m not sure I like them because of the nature of them – they require a very mechanical style of play in my view and there’s little point in much post-flop strategy but I do like winning. And I’m not doing too badly at that in these.

So theres not much else to tell you really. Just have a quiet few days planned in front of the telly and then time to look for a job. No messing around this time, just the first phone monkey job I can set my little hands on. And then hopefully, another trip to Glasgow. And then, jesus, 2008. Don’t ask me how we got here.
I hope the hangovers aren’t too bad, folks!

Alright, so its not anything thats going to put Trafalgar Square’s effort in any shade (especially not my wonky star). But at least its done. As are, homemade mince pies, half my presents wrapped and my house cleaned. I’m having my first glass of the wine of the week with my feet up in front of the telly, and I’m feeling quite virtuous about what I’ve achieved today. Given I’m about to give up a whole weekend to the pursuit of non-virtue, thats good news.

All I need are some willing elves to help my finish wrapping my presents and I’ll be good to go.

With my trip to Glasgow and a house full for Christmas, I’m not sure how much poker I’ll be playing, or how much blogging I’ll have time to do before Christmas. So, reader,
Happy Christmas. I hope you get your heart’s desire under the Christmas tree this year.

This makes me laugh. I’m not usually all that impressed by the efforts of local commercial radiomorning DJ’s, but this makes even an old sourpuss like me laugh. Maybe you won’t get if you’re not from Bristol,I hope you do.

And yes, Juice, this is what a Bristolian accent sounds like

[22:02] sick as hell: I have to get my eye medicine..
[22:07] Juice: does conjunctivitis hurt?
[22:08] sick as hell: it does if i touch my eyes
[22:08] sick as hell: but its just itchy and ugly otherwise
[22:08] sick as hell: i don’t want my eyes to be ugly
[22:08] Juice: shades are always cool
[22:08] Juice: or my favorite the brown paper bag
[22:08] sick as hell: lol,
[22:08] Juice: with drawn on eyes
[22:08] sick as hell: lolol
[22:09] sick as hell: i might try that
[22:10] sick as hell: Its not likely to be sunny enough in Glasgow to pull off shades, is it?
[22:11] Juice: the man makes it sunny enough for shades
[22:11] sick as hell:

I’ve been thinking about blogging a lot recently: The right to privacy, the right to uncensored speech, and of course, the most important navel gazing question of all: Why? Now, we all have our answers to the why question, I suppose. Some people blog for a sense of community (or, as it has been put, to be part of a ‘scene’) some people blog for attention, some people blog because.. well, since men and women have been writing, many have been writing their thoughts down somewhere. Some, I’ve noticed, seem to view blogging as a bit of a competition, Some see the point of blogging to be getting feedback in the comments box. Some people just have things they want to say. Things that just don’t seem to them to be said anywhere else. I don’t know where i fit in those reasons. I know I write for myself and admittedly specifically for bloggers that I consider friends. I don’t know why though, given I feel I only really write for my own pleasure I don’t always write about what I want to write. Ahhh maybe one day. Whatever I say though, I know that blogging, like poker, rarely comes without Ego.

It seems that some of these issues have been in the mind of the media lately. Last week, I watched an interesting program on channel 4. The Sex Blog Girls. A major focus of this show was a blog that I’ve been enjoying for a long time, Girl with a one-track mind. I think this blog has been going since 2004 and is pretty simply a woman discussing (sorry if I oversimplify here) her sexual exploits and what she thought about them – and what she thought about sex, and men. Now, its never been a particularly titillating read for me but I, and hundreds of thousands of people read it. All the time. And she got a book deal. Its a cracking book, I’d recommend it. Worryingly, the tabloid press at the time thought it was necessary to track her down and publish her name and her parents name and address, because why, I don’t know.
While I languished in my bed today, I had the great fortune to catch a very interesting show on Radio 4 called: New Kids on The Blog. Cute name, huh?(You can find it under Radio 4′s website under Listen Again, for a little while, should you so desire). It was mostly about political bloggers in the US and how they’re making a difference to the political and media landscape. Apparently there are 112 million blogs today worldwide (not all of them active, one would think). Some of them get no readers at all. Some get 10,000. 10,000 readers a day. I wonder how many of the very influential UK poker bloggers can make that claim?

I think I’m turning slightly nocturnal. I know that I’m ill, but I’m not sure that staying up late at night and sleeping all of the day whilst my little one is at nursery is all that good for me. But there you go. Hopefully over the weekend, I’ll be able to turn that around a bit. But I’ll not make it a big priority.

Ugh, please, no more drama. Look, I have the flu, I’m tired. My decorations aren’t up and my presents aren’t wrapped. I’m not looking for sympathy (not having man-flu, I wouldn’t expect any), but please, leave me alone. I just want to blog about how awful online poker can be, and bitch about whats on the telly. I don’t have the energy to argue with anyone, anymore. If you can’t take the odd dig in a chat box from a slightly pissed off 20 something girl, I don’t know what to suggest. Turn my chat off?
If you must complain, You could always email me, care of Rosie dot toes at hotmail co uk and bitch at me there. Letters marked ‘complaint’ will receive immediate and confidential attention. Unless you’re a whole forum writing at once and then you, well, I don’t know, I’ll send a delegate.

I think I have mice. I don’t mind mice, really, but from a health and safety point of view, probably not the best idea. Every year we get them and every year they rattle around in this house with me. My house is old, the floors are polished floorboards. Its ‘well ventilated’. The sash windows are original Victorian, and they rattle.The rat catcher (waste disposal? mouse killer? rentokil?) tell me they can enter your house in the space of a pen lid top. He then looks around and shakes his head. And every year, bless em, we get them poisoned. The way it works, apparently, is to slowly coagulate their blood with these pellets. They take the pellets home to feed their babies and then, as they all start to feel unwell, they get into their nests and drift off. Except its more more than likely more painful than that for them, but its very clean. When I see mouse I look at it and feel sorry for the inevitable action, (and frankly, the 40 quid), but the rat catcher – nice but rather strange man from the council, remind me that for every one I see there are probably 20 scurrying below the floorboards. And over my kitchen surfaces, and through my baby’s room. Ok. Ok ,then I think. And we set down the traps. But I’ll wait until I actually see one. I’d like to get some cats in, to at least give them a sporting chance. But i think the rat catcher’s way is probably best.

Poker is up and down. When I am not suffering ridiculous beats (ak v93 all in preflop, that sort of thing), I’m not doing too badly. I seem to be churning a small profit again, but I put that down to luck, really, rather than my good judgment.

Lots of ‘Oh my fucking God’ moments today on the non poker front. Christmas shopping a week before Christmas with a temperature, sore throat and a headache was never going to be the best idea, but I never did realise quite how bad. Six hours of Oh My Fucking God Moments. ‘Oh my fucking God, I’ve been to eleven big retailers and they’ve all run out of Christmas Tree Lights’ ‘Oh my fucking God, its so cold out here’ ‘Oh my fucking God, I’ve been sat in this traffic the length of time it takes me to fly to Glasgow’ ‘Oh my fucking God, some fat chav in Marks and Spencer is having a go at me because I accidentally knocked a pair of socks off a rail and my hands were too full to pick them up’ ‘Oh my fucking God, what do you mean, you’ve run out of dinosaurs?’ and my least favourite of the day was watching some middle aged man bully and shout a at 16 year old cafe assistant because it was minutes to twelve and she wasn’t allowed to take a lunch order until 12, until she had tears her in her eyes. ‘Oh my fucking God, Is your life so unhappy you have to berate some young woman until she can’t deal with you any more? Over five minutes?’. I never said any of these things out loud of course, because sometimes, its just not worth your while opening even opening your mouth. Sympathetic smiles between the understanding, generally have to suffice.

Oh my fucking God, its quarter to five in the morning.

Its funny, isn’t it, how what is NOT said, is often more telling than what IS said.
I don’t have comment moderation on this blog – I’m never going to edit what anyone has to say to me, I’m not going to take anyone’s words out of context – or mislead the reader as to what has, or has not been said. (but fuk it, lets change that now)You may not want me to be your best buddy – thats fine – I have enough friends, thank you. But at least you know when you come here you can say what you like. I think someone accused me of being a bloke pretending to be a woman once. Care I? I care not.

I wasn’t feeling particularly good during the bloggerment last night – wary of another suckout and full of flu I sat at the table to play the best poker I could (sorry, if any of you think thats a crime, btw, to actually take a game seriously) and then, something I had completely forgotten about. A run in with HULLJIMI. Now, normally, frankly, inane banter in the chatbox goes over my head but sometimes, I think, ‘shut up’.
Now I know that i have no right to tell anyone to stop chatting in the bloggerment just because I’m having trouble concentrating. Its not the fault of the inane driveller, thats for sure. But when I suggested he might have done better for less chat, he took this as ‘snide’ (lol) and set about in his words.
Being the bigger man, and being a fully grown up adult, I did the thing that all grown ups would do. I walked away and left her to it I set about her and tried to make her look a bit of a tit! I think it worked but I’m not proud of myself. Much.
Yeah, fully into bigger man territory there!
Now, in my perception, thats not really what happened. So THIS is what I wrote in response to his post..
Lol@you
You made me look like a bit of a tit? yeah, there you were laughing at your own jokes, discussing weeing in the bath like my 3 year old.. yeah, really clever chat.
I don’t know if this is because you are generally not very bright – I’m not sure, but making comments about the way people play their hands, especially while you are not in them, calling people ‘ miserable sod’ when they don;t laugh like trains at your ‘witty banter’ does not make you a comedy genius. but if practising your your stand up in an empty room, hands down your shorts really makes you happy, good to get the practice in at every opportunity eh?
Spot the difference?
He goes onto send me a pretty slaggy email, here: (by publishing this, I tearfully face the truth that my reader hates me. At least I’m honest. Add your name to the bottom of the email, if you like. See If I care)

Thanks for reading my blog.(James, how could I not.. its fascinating)I'd like to answer a few of your points...."generally not very bright" - how's 4 a-levels at A grade, a degree and myown company grab you? At 29? Not bad for someone not generally very bright.(you're right, thats not bad at all for someone not very bright)Equally - I've not made any vicious comments about you? Why the need for thepersonal attack? (Why the need to say that you feel you made me look 'like a bit of a tit because I didn't kiss your ass?)I certainly didn't comment on any hands you were in - the tourney is ran asa bit of fun - and most people see it that way.I also find it a bit striking that whilst chatting on RTR and MSN, thatvirtually none of the community can tolerate your abruptness and thatfrankly, you're not well liked. (as I've addressed above, RTR and the blogging communtiy are so far away from my life, sunshine, that I hadn't given it a minute's thought what those all powerful community of the british blog scene think) As for a comedy genius, I leave that to you.(thanks)Most of the UK poker community appear to be laughing at you.(see the above)Anyway, I'm off to put my hands back down my pants. It's awfully hard typing (well, you said it)with one hand and my face....And then I said..Nicely edited , I will give you that. Lovely that you don't even give my full response to your post, but your blog, edit away. - as for your rather pleasant email ths eveing, James, I'm rather suprised you didn't post all of that as well.As for my 'upsetting more than my fair share of raise the riverers' gosh! What will I do?! Frankly, James, I don't care what you think of me, and I don't care what your little pals think either. I don't mind.But get over yourself won't you.But he never showed you that either.Look, I don't care if you like him, like me, read my blog, don't, don't read mine. Really, if you dislike me, don't read my blog, or read it, or do what you want. I don't careWhat I do care about is being misrepresented by someone who behaves like a 12 year old, and doesn't even want to publish a discussion in is entirety. For Hull Jimi to suggest that I do any of this for some weird sense of approval from any blogger that I don't consider a personal friend - is well, hes wrong.To think i had some bad beat stories to tell you, too!

Well, I thought I had got away with it. I spend a week at home with a toddler with serious gastric flu and I, smugly, symptomless, think that I have, for once in the past three years got off with a free pass.
I don’t have stomach flu, certainly, but when I awoke this morning to the sound of my darling boy calling me from his bed and realised I was lying in a pool of my own sweat unable to move my limbs without effort, I knew I was in trouble. Breathe, swallow breath. Breathing through nose impossible, swallowing like, like swallowing small but very sharp knives. And then I wake up again and its 5pm. Fortunately, I have a house guest at the moment so I haven’t left small person alone to his own devices all day.. but really.. 5pm. Thank goodness for wireless internet and the ability to whine at you all en masse from my bed.

Poker was pretty terrible yesterday evening, despite feeling pretty upbeat about things. I disappoint myself all the time in how it can only take one bad beat to send me into a terrible downward spiral of despair. It was a pretty bad beat – one that might win me an award, in fact (kings v 75o – I’ll let you imagine the rest)- but the rest of the night, well, there were no excusues for my play really, except tilt. I remember clearly trying to bluff a clear fish off a pot on the early stages of a $5 sng. You know what I forgot? Fish don’t fold. I also, whilst playing an MTT with Acorn, pushed two pair into a clearly obvious made straight. So i went to bed earlyish, and here I am.
Now, I have to go and get some icecream. See you in the bloggerment.

Its not been that bad a week, poker wise. I’ve managed two final mtt tables and have come very deep in a couple of others. Not for very much money, mind. The reason for these low pay outs ( eg. 8 out of 450 odd for a profit of $70 ish) is because I play $5 mtts. I don’t know – its not a bankroll factor so much as a.. well. I don’t know. Maybe I think that my win rate isn’t high enough to justify higher buy ins. So last night, I decided to take a shot at something bigger – a $24 buy in $17,500 gtd deep stack tourney on full tilt. Deep stack tourneys suit me. I could afford it. And the man persuades me that my game is easily good enough. No reason, then , not to give it a go.
I didn’t start well. My queens got tangled up in the second hand who called my BIG raise preflop with A4o and caught his 4 on the flop. Needless to say he called my bets all the way down to the river where he caught his inevitable ace. Ho Hum, down to 300 or so chips out of 3000. The good news is that over the next hour i took those 300 chips to 7500 odd chips. The bad news is that i fucked them all off in one go with my top two pair to a well played set. I should have got away from that hand – but in the $5 tourneys I’ve been playing – no one plays their sets like that! The experience did persuade me that I ought to give it another go though. Some time.

I then went onto play a couple of $5 sngs with The Edge and Acorn at Stars. The standard of play in these was.. appalling. But I got my chips in ahead (thats not usually enough in these, I don’t think) and won one and came third in another. I’ve had a lot of late nights though this week with one thing or another and I didn’t have much energy left for anything else.

The boy is much better now, despite catching conjunctivitis to add to his other ills. And, (taps forehead) I seem to have go off scot free. So far. To say I’m relieved to see him eating, sleeping and playing normally after this week is probably stretching the art of understatement far too far, but you know what I mean. In other good news, my short sabbatical from the work place has allowed me the time for a weekend away in Glasgow next weekend. I’m very pleased about this indeed. Just need to go and make some cash to help offset my flight!